Category Archives: Antrim coast

Antrim coast, Co Antrim, Northern Ireland tourist

The Gobbins. Islandmagee coastal walk.

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Went to the newly re-opened Gobbins coastal walk in Islandmagee today.

Originally opened in 1902 It had been closed for many years and work started on redevelopment in 2013. In traditional Northern Irish style the project over ran on budget and took longer to complete than originally stated.

Some interesting welding that you can look at for £8.50. If it were a ship it'd probably sink.
Some interesting welding that you can look at for £8.50. If it were a ship it’d probably sink.

The Northern Ireland Tourist Board in conjunction with the Brass Neck Engineering Federation have really outdone themselves this time. For anyone who is interested in welding it’s a lovely way to spend ten seconds or so admiring the MIG / TIG skills of whoever crafted the tubular framework. The most amazing thing about it is the fact that what was previously free to walk now actually costs £8.50 per person.

Welcome to Rip-off Northern Ireland.

Edit: Fucking typical – Closed already!

Another edit: You couldn’t make it up! It’s still fucking closed!

Yet another edit: It’s fucked again!

Verdict 0/5 (good if you like welding – we don’t)

Antrim coast, Co Antrim, Northern Ireland tourist

Portrush.

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“The jewel in Antrims crown” they said, “Go to Portrush” they said, “You’ll love it” they said. Bastards!

It’s a duel to see which is shittier, Portrush or Ballycastle. I’d call it a draw.

Allegedly it’s more fun when the bike races are on and the village is overrun by vikings and all sorts of social miscreants.

Barrys amusement emporium (and oft time carry out den).
Barrys “Amusements”. The Las Vegas MGN of the Antrim coast (in their fucking dreams).

There’s a reason Portrush is cockney rhyming slang for thrush. Both are deeply unplesant experiences. I can’t help but feel it might be more interesting if it were underwater, like Atlantis.

Verdict 0/5 (Run away quickly).

Antrim coast, Co Antrim, Northern Ireland tourist

Carrickfergus.

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Ah, good old Carrickfergus. So good they named it once and may have written a song about it.

It’s bad enough that it’s coming down with sectarian murals and smells of wee but it says something when your village elders decide to build a mock village to try and hide the fact that it has become a sectarian, destitute, depraved shit hole.

Spectacular disguise employed by Carrickfergus village elders.
Spectacular disguise employed by Carrickfergus village elders.

 

Verdict 0.5/5 (Avoid like the plague).

 

Antrim coast, Northern Ireland tourist

Ballycastle.

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Jesus wept!

Spent the day here staring at a few of the local villagers trying to unload a tractor off a ferry at the harbour.

Several hundred local people gathered to watch.

Rathlin_Island_ferry_at_Ballycastle
The annual Ballycastle tractor off loading festival in full swing.

After three hours I was bored stiff and depressed so I took a walk down to the shitty beach. No, really, that’s not just what I thought of it the European Commission thinks it’s too shitty too.

Verdict: 0.5/5 (Avoid).

Antrim coast

Giant’s causeway.

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Went to the “Giant’s causeway” today.

No giants.

Stood around looking at funny shaped rocks waiting on a fusty smelling Ulsterbus to come and rescue me from the boredom and disappointment.

Stones.
That’s me, second from left. The folks from a local special needs centre looked like they were enjoying themselves. I expect their medication helped.

 

You’d think after 6,000 years they’d have thought of something to do to liven the place up a bit.

Verdict 0.2/5 (Avoid).