You couldn’t make this shit up.
The owner of a hotel chain which pays the majority of its workers so little that they more often than not don’t make the tax payable threshold (£10,000) now wants more tax payers money to help promote Northern Ireland ( see: fund his empire).
Northern Ireland businesses – taking “taking the piss” to a whole new level.
Verdict: 0 / 5 – Too dear, not unionised, zero hour contracts and NMW.
Went to the newly re-opened Gobbins coastal walk in Islandmagee today.
Originally opened in 1902 It had been closed for many years and work started on redevelopment in 2013. In traditional Northern Irish style the project over ran on budget and took longer to complete than originally stated.
The Northern Ireland Tourist Board in conjunction with the Brass Neck Engineering Federation have really outdone themselves this time. For anyone who is interested in welding it’s a lovely way to spend ten seconds or so admiring the MIG / TIG skills of whoever crafted the tubular framework. The most amazing thing about it is the fact that what was previously free to walk now actually costs £8.50 per person.
Welcome to Rip-off Northern Ireland.
Edit: Fucking typical – Closed already!
Another edit: You couldn’t make it up! It’s still fucking closed!
Yet another edit: It’s fucked again!
Verdict 0/5 (good if you like welding – we don’t)
“The jewel in Antrims crown” they said, “Go to Portrush” they said, “You’ll love it” they said. Bastards!
It’s a duel to see which is shittier, Portrush or Ballycastle. I’d call it a draw.
Allegedly it’s more fun when the bike races are on and the village is overrun by vikings and all sorts of social miscreants.
There’s a reason Portrush is cockney rhyming slang for thrush. Both are deeply unplesant experiences. I can’t help but feel it might be more interesting if it were underwater, like Atlantis.
Verdict 0/5 (Run away quickly).
Oh mummy. Help!
Get me out of here.
Verdict -6/5 (Avoid. Stay in Stranraer / Cairnryan).
Ah, good old Carrickfergus. So good they named it once and may have written a song about it.
It’s bad enough that it’s coming down with sectarian murals and smells of wee but it says something when your village elders decide to build a mock village to try and hide the fact that it has become a sectarian, destitute, depraved shit hole.
Verdict 0.5/5 (Avoid like the plague).
Ventured inland today and visited the scenic village shit hole of Ahoghill.
No hogs and more of a general incline than a “hill”. In true Northern Ireland style Ahoghill is reliably disappointing.
Verdict -3/5 (Avoid. Stay on the B52).
Jesus wept!
Spent the day here staring at a few of the local villagers trying to unload a tractor off a ferry at the harbour.
Several hundred local people gathered to watch.
After three hours I was bored stiff and depressed so I took a walk down to the shitty beach. No, really, that’s not just what I thought of it the European Commission thinks it’s too shitty too.
Verdict: 0.5/5 (Avoid).
Went to the “Giant’s causeway” today.
No giants.
Stood around looking at funny shaped rocks waiting on a fusty smelling Ulsterbus to come and rescue me from the boredom and disappointment.
You’d think after 6,000 years they’d have thought of something to do to liven the place up a bit.
Verdict 0.2/5 (Avoid).